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Random typing, work related again...
Aug. 5th, 2004 04:24 am... have to work to have the money to buy things that i can't get because i don't have the time to find them because i have to work to have the money to buy things that i can't get because i don't have time to find them because i have to work to have the money ....
In other words, once again, i hate working. Stupid job. Stupid money... I can find almost everything i need in the trash. People are too busy working to take the time to sell or give them, so they throw them away. If you take the time to look at what people throw away, you can find everything you need there. And i don't mean half-broken things. I know, i lived for almost 14 years with stuff from yard sales or from the trash.
I hate that stupid "Well, get a better job and you'll be able to just buy everything you need." answer. Stuff that i buy is NOT what i need. I want the time to build or find my own stuff. Why spend a whole day working to pay for a 200$ chair when you could have found a better one in the trash in front of a house if you hadn't been working.
Works kills what you like so often... You're told to find a job in something that you're good at and interests you. You end up taking courses, get a job, and the next thing that happens is that you've been forced to do what you used to like so often and so repeatively that you can't stand doing it anymore and try to find every possible way out of it.
I can code. I love to code. I love to fix computers, to put them together, to make them better... But when i get home from work after spending a whole day avoiding doing that, there's no way i'll even want to get near them. Simply because they remind me so much of it. Of that feeling of being trapped and forced to do what you're supposed to like because it's your job to.
At the moment, it really feels like being forced to do something, and being given money later as a compensation. Not doing work in exchange for money.
When people come to see me alone at the store, ask for something to be done, i have no problem doing it right away. I do what they need while they watch, i ask them the minimum fee and it goes well. They usually even pay more, and i can see that i helped that person. And you can talk with them at least while doing that, and you can get other things from this.
In situations like that, it really feels like if i was doing what i'm good at to help someone, and they gave me money for it.
But when they drop a system on the counter, worried only about how long will it take and how much will it cost, i have no interest. I know that this person comes in expecting to pay X amoun to get Y done, and expects exactly that. They don't want me to do my best, they want X done. They don't want to hear a thing about how it's done or anything.
I hate these customers. But sadly, they're almost the only ones we get.
I'm also annoyed by these stupid schedules. We should be allowed to work when we want. I can understand when you need to deal with the public up to some point, but as a tech, why can't i just come in at 3AM, work for a few hours, go back home, come back again during the day to do a little bit more, and then.... It's useless to have me there at 10AM, low on sleep and barely able to concentrate on what i'm doing.
I do the equivalent of two days of work in a few hours when i'm in the mood to. I can finish 8 systems in an hour if i woke up late, have no boss or customer watching every single thing i do and the music i want. And i'm not making this up, this is what happens when i know my boss won't come in for the day and had enough sleep. Even while chatting i do more work than i do in normal situations in moments like these.
What i'd like to have is a store and house combo. That would allow me to do that. If i live there, i can go back to work at any time and leave whenever i want.
That's also one of the reasons i don't want to leave my current workplace. I can get away from it and back home in 5 minutes. It makes me feel a little bit more free. Paul-Emile Dufresne (computer tech school) was 1h away from home on bike, but i still had to go there that way to keep that possibility of just walking out and going home or wherever i want.
Where i work right now, when the boss isn't there there's nothing stopping me from doing that if i have to. Nothing stopping me from even setting the place on fire if i have to. I don't really feel the need to do any of this, but just having the possibilty of doing so is needed. If i'm in a place where everything is locked, where you need an ID card to get anywhere, i get dangerous. As soon as i'm left alone, all i can think of is "how do i get out".
Some people say that it's stupid since i keep building myself boxes to lock myself in. But the difference is that the locks are inside, and that i'm the only one who has the keys to them.
It would also drive me insane if i didn't know that if when i wake up tomorrow morning, i'm not forced to go to work. My boss has no real power over me. I can simply decide to stay in bed, and there's nothing he can do about it.
Office space rules. I think i'll go watch it again. Or maybe just the part that starts at 41:10.
(Well, 41:10 on the DivX i downloaded...)
Vacation in 6 days. Maybe i could just get on my bike and start rolling west until good things happen.
In other words, once again, i hate working. Stupid job. Stupid money... I can find almost everything i need in the trash. People are too busy working to take the time to sell or give them, so they throw them away. If you take the time to look at what people throw away, you can find everything you need there. And i don't mean half-broken things. I know, i lived for almost 14 years with stuff from yard sales or from the trash.
I hate that stupid "Well, get a better job and you'll be able to just buy everything you need." answer. Stuff that i buy is NOT what i need. I want the time to build or find my own stuff. Why spend a whole day working to pay for a 200$ chair when you could have found a better one in the trash in front of a house if you hadn't been working.
Works kills what you like so often... You're told to find a job in something that you're good at and interests you. You end up taking courses, get a job, and the next thing that happens is that you've been forced to do what you used to like so often and so repeatively that you can't stand doing it anymore and try to find every possible way out of it.
I can code. I love to code. I love to fix computers, to put them together, to make them better... But when i get home from work after spending a whole day avoiding doing that, there's no way i'll even want to get near them. Simply because they remind me so much of it. Of that feeling of being trapped and forced to do what you're supposed to like because it's your job to.
At the moment, it really feels like being forced to do something, and being given money later as a compensation. Not doing work in exchange for money.
When people come to see me alone at the store, ask for something to be done, i have no problem doing it right away. I do what they need while they watch, i ask them the minimum fee and it goes well. They usually even pay more, and i can see that i helped that person. And you can talk with them at least while doing that, and you can get other things from this.
In situations like that, it really feels like if i was doing what i'm good at to help someone, and they gave me money for it.
But when they drop a system on the counter, worried only about how long will it take and how much will it cost, i have no interest. I know that this person comes in expecting to pay X amoun to get Y done, and expects exactly that. They don't want me to do my best, they want X done. They don't want to hear a thing about how it's done or anything.
I hate these customers. But sadly, they're almost the only ones we get.
I'm also annoyed by these stupid schedules. We should be allowed to work when we want. I can understand when you need to deal with the public up to some point, but as a tech, why can't i just come in at 3AM, work for a few hours, go back home, come back again during the day to do a little bit more, and then.... It's useless to have me there at 10AM, low on sleep and barely able to concentrate on what i'm doing.
I do the equivalent of two days of work in a few hours when i'm in the mood to. I can finish 8 systems in an hour if i woke up late, have no boss or customer watching every single thing i do and the music i want. And i'm not making this up, this is what happens when i know my boss won't come in for the day and had enough sleep. Even while chatting i do more work than i do in normal situations in moments like these.
What i'd like to have is a store and house combo. That would allow me to do that. If i live there, i can go back to work at any time and leave whenever i want.
That's also one of the reasons i don't want to leave my current workplace. I can get away from it and back home in 5 minutes. It makes me feel a little bit more free. Paul-Emile Dufresne (computer tech school) was 1h away from home on bike, but i still had to go there that way to keep that possibility of just walking out and going home or wherever i want.
Where i work right now, when the boss isn't there there's nothing stopping me from doing that if i have to. Nothing stopping me from even setting the place on fire if i have to. I don't really feel the need to do any of this, but just having the possibilty of doing so is needed. If i'm in a place where everything is locked, where you need an ID card to get anywhere, i get dangerous. As soon as i'm left alone, all i can think of is "how do i get out".
Some people say that it's stupid since i keep building myself boxes to lock myself in. But the difference is that the locks are inside, and that i'm the only one who has the keys to them.
It would also drive me insane if i didn't know that if when i wake up tomorrow morning, i'm not forced to go to work. My boss has no real power over me. I can simply decide to stay in bed, and there's nothing he can do about it.
Office space rules. I think i'll go watch it again. Or maybe just the part that starts at 41:10.
(Well, 41:10 on the DivX i downloaded...)
Vacation in 6 days. Maybe i could just get on my bike and start rolling west until good things happen.
